Kish Vs cooking
by summer-flower-girl
Summary: COMPLETE! The authoress tries to teach Kish how to cook. Poor poor Kish's kitchen, and poor Q's sanity...
1. intro

Disclaimer: -looks under bed and in closet- nope, not here, don't own Tokyo mew mew or mew mew power.

A/N: Weeeee! New story! Hehehehe, my newest creation! Sorry about the wait for the next chapter of 'the dangers of cleaning', but my brain is fresh out of ideas and this story needed to be typed up so I could think properly again. Also, my time on the computer was shortened to two hours a day, so I can't get as much dome anymore….-sob-

"Kish, why is your dirty socks on my plate?" Tarto held his plate under Kish's nose, on it was what appeared to be a pair of dirty socks. Kish frowned. "That's dinner." Tarto poked it and it crumbled into dust. "What was it?"

"It was soup…"

"…Kish?"

"Yes?"

"HOW CAN YOU BURN SOUP?.!.?.! THAT IS IMPOSIBLE!" Kish crossed his arms stubbornly.

"Well obviously it is possible, as I did everything the box said!"

Pai looked up from where he had been dissecting something that might have been a vegetable of some sort, but was now burnt to a crisp and turned into ash.

"Actually Kish, it _is _impossible to burn soup…I think…"

"OH. MY. AKITO. Pai is unsure about something! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp! The apocalypse is coming!" Tarto jumped up and started running around screaming. Kish stuck out a leg and Tarto tripped over it and fell flat on his face.

Ignoring his fellow aliens' antics Pai continued. "You can't burn soup, but you could burn whatever was in the soup if you didn't put enough water in….how much did you put in?"

"Two teaspoons, like it said." Kish said ignoring Tarto whom he was holding upside-down by the ankle. Pai cocked an eyebrow. "Can I see the box?" Shrugging, Kish tossed Pai the box, and then was promptly kicked in the face by Tarto, who promptly was dropped onto the floor. "Kish…the box says two CUPS not teaspoons!" He just shrugged. "Meh, same difference." The authoress stormed into the room and smacked Kish with the empty box. "That's an oxymoron, you baka! And speaking of morons how can you mix a cup with a teaspoon?.!.?" The authoress looked at the charred remains of the so-called 'soup'. "I feel sorry for you." The authoress handed Pai and Tarto a package of the awesome-est thing on the face of the planet, instant noodles. "In fact if feel so sorry for you I'll endanger my sanity and teach Kish how to cook." Pai and Tarto looked horror-struck.

The authoress sighed dramatically. "If I die, tell Bowleena she gets my four manga books and my 'how to draw manga' book." Suddenly Bowleena popped into the room. "Can I have them now Authoress?"

The authoress shook her head. "No, you only get them if I die… Now, to the kitchen!" Both Bowleena and the Authoress each grabbed Kish's wrists and dragged him into the kitchen.

The authoress looked at Kish. "The first thing we're going to make are cookies!" The authoress held up a neon green cookbook.

"We need to get our supplies first, so we won't cook until the next chapter!" Bowleena exclaimed. Kish glared "The why did you maniacs drag me in here?.!.?" Bowleena and the Authoress grinned and high fived.

"Authoress, what is the name of the cookies that we're going to make in the next chapter?" Bowleena asked.

"Turtle cookies."

"You mean that you expect me to kill baby turtles?.!.?"

The authoress grinned and whispered in Bowleena's ear: "There isn't really turtles in the cookies…."

Bowleena smiled. "Let's just let him think that till the next chapter…"


	2. Turtle cookies

Disclaimer: I'd have to be some sort of prodigy (which I'm obviously NOT) to own Tokyo mew mew or mew mew power.

A/N: Hello again! –Gets pelted with rotten onions- Gah! This chapter might seem a bit odd, 'cause when I was halfway done it, I got kicked off the computer AGAIN, and I didn't get another chance to finish it 'till today. Please review, It's would be nice to know if I can still make people laugh….

"I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" Bowleena, I mean Tori ran into the room clutching a bag full of what everyone hoped was cooking supplies.

The authoress grinned and shoved the cookbook and bag of supplies at Kish. "Why are you giving this to me?" The authoress plopped onto a stool that the authoress failed to mention earlier due to laziness. "Cause you're the one who needs to learn to cook, not me." Bowleena searched the room for another stool, only to find none. "Authoress! No fair! You get a stool but I don't?" The authoress sighed annoyed and made another stool appear in the room.

"Authoress, your cook book makes no sense! It's like another language!" The authoress took one look at the cookbook before snatching it up and smacking him with it. "It's upside down you ninniot!" The authoress shoved the book at Kish plopped back on her stool.

"What do I do first?"

"Bowleena says: read the cookbook!" Bowleena said in a creepy happy voice.

"Bowleena stop talking in third person, and stop talking so happy-ish, it's scary!"

"Bowleena says: I can't stop!" Bowleena said, still talking in a creepy voice.

"Kish you need to soften the butter before you can start the recipe."

"Ok." Kish shoved the butter (Still in the wrapper) into the microwave.

Silence descended on the room, although, as silence is invisible, it could have _ascended_ on the room for all we know, but because of the fact that descended sounds cooler than ascended, the authoress decided that the silence descended. So anyway, silence descended on the room. Silence….silence…silence…

S

I

L

E

N

C

E

"OH. MY. AKITO." Bowleena stated. "No, MY Akito! Bowleena said, trying to sound like she had a split personality. "No MY akito-"

"Both of you, I mean Bowleena; I mean Tori, just shut up!"

"But authoress, the butter is on fire." Tori stated calmly.

The authoress glanced at the microwave before rounding on Kish. "Did you leave the wrapper on the butter?" Kish backed up five feet before nodding. The authoress glared at him, and made the burning butter explode into nothingness and smacked him.

-Five minutes later-

"Authoress look at me!" Tori shouted. The authoress growled inwardly, in the five minutes that they had been cooking Tori and Kish had managed to spill the milk, sneeze in the flour (thus making Tarto think that there were ghosts in the kitchen when he came in searching for food), dump half the vanilla in the sink, drop a HEVEY bowl on the authoress's foot and knock Pai unconscious with the spatula.

"Bowleena-I mean Tori, not the-"

SPLAT!

"-eggs."

"Eggs? What eggs?" Kish said, stepping into the pile of now broken eggs.

CRUNCH!

Kish glared at Bowleena and the authoress who were both trying with difficulty to not burst out in hysterical laughter.

"Why would anyone leave a pile of eggs IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR?.!.?.!" The authoress and Bowleena sweat dropped.

-Five MORE minutes later-

"Now that the batter is FINALLY done, we have to shape them into one inch balls, psh, one inch, that's puny!"

Bowleena peered at the cookbook of DOOM.

"That's 'cause it's written by ADULTS (dun dun dun dunnnnnnnn!), not only that by one of those adults that make their cookies so small you need a microscope to see them-"

"Ok Tori, you can shut up now."

Bowleena nodded.

SPLAT!

A ball of dough hit the authoress on the side of the face.

The authoress looked at Kish and Tori. Kish whistled 'innocently'.

SPLAT!

A ball of dough (that was aimed for Kish) hit Bowleena.

"DOUGH BALL FIGHT!.!.!"

-Ten MESSY minutes later-

After 'magically' cleaning the dough, so that it was perfectly fine with her awesome authoress powers, Kish Tori and the authoress (who hereafter shall be referred as Q) put the cookies in the stove and waited…and waited…. and waited…. and waited…. and waited…. and waited….and-

"Q STOP SAYING THAT!.!.!"

Q rolled her eyes and chucked some remaining dough at Kish.

"…Q, are they done yet?" Tori asked

"No, the won't be done for five more minutes"

"Are they done yet?"

"No, the won't be done for five more minutes"

"How 'bout now?"

"No."

"How 'bout now?"

"NO"

"How 'bout now?"

"NO"

"How 'bout now?"

"**NO**"

"How 'bout now?"

"NO! The cookies aren't done, and they won't be for four more minutes!"

"…are they done yet?"

"NO!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!"

-One minute later-

"Cookies are done!"

-At dinner-

"Kish can I have one?" Tarto asked.

"NOOOO! They're mine! Mine I tell you! Mine!" Kish yelled jumping up.

Kish then proceeded to climb on top of a large cabinet, and hissed like a cat at anyone who got too close, eating ALL of the cookies (minus two that Q and Bowleena snagged when they had just come out of the stove) all the while.

A/N (again):

Kish: You made me sound like a cat!

Bowleena (Tori): You made me sound stupid and klutzy!

-Tori and Kish form an angry mob (with other people of course) -

Q: -gulps- well, gota go I happen to want to live, so bye! –Runs for the hills-

Kish and Bowleena: GET HER!


	3. spagetti

Disclaimer:

Me: And here's my widdle cousin Aaron to tell everyone that I don't own Tokyo mew mew.

Aaron: I'm not doing it!

Me: Bandana.

Aaron: -gulps nervously- My annoying older cousin doesn't own Tokyo mew mew or mew mew power.

A/N: Ello peoples! This chapter would have been added on Thursday, buuuuut I got kicked off AGAIN!

"Hi Kish and Q-sama!" Bowleena shouted, as she once again ran into the kitchen clutching a bag stuffed to the brim, er would that be top? Psh, who cares? Anyway, -clutching a bag stuffed to the brim/top with cooking supplies for Kish's next attempt at destroying Q's sanity- I mean exploding the kitchen- I mean cooking- I mean -uhh, wait I _did_ mean that, didn't I?

Kish chucked a soccer ball at Q's head reminding her to stop rambling and get on with the chapter.

Tossing the soccer ball over her shoulder (thus smacking Tarto with it), Q opened the neon green cookbook of complete and udder, I mean _utter_, DOOM.

"Kish today we're making spaghetti." Q said, opening the bag Bowleena had brought

Spotting the spaghetti noodle package, Kish grabbed it, opened it and took one noodle out.

"En gard!" Kish yelled poking Bowleena with it.

Bowleena grabbed a spatula (the very same one that knocked Pai out) and pocked Kish back.

"En gard yourself!" Bowleena said, poking Kish again.

Bowleena broke Kish's noodle with her spatula, forcing Kish to grab another spatula, thus (I use that word a lot don't I...) starting an amazing duel with spatulas across the kitchen, that only ended when Bowleena's spatula went flying out of her hand, smacking Pai in the head, knocking him out again.

Ignoring the fact that she just knocked someone out, Bowleena picked up her spatula and started another duel.

Q sweat dropped, thinking 'someone _please_ tell me that Kish and Bowleena AREN'T having a duel with spatulas.'

"KISH!" Q yelled.

Kish looked up from where he was attempting to knock Bowleena's spatula out of her hand. "What?"

"You and Bowleena come over here so I can teach you how to make spaghetti!"

Kish and Bowleena silently walked over to Q.

"K, Kish you make to sauce stuff, it's easy enough, and me 'n' Bowleena will make the noodles."

-Ten minutes later-

'Q-sama, I think that the noodles are ready."

"Ok, just dump them in the strainer-thing in the sink."

"Why don't you do it Q?" Kish asked from where he was attempting to make the sauce with out it exploding for the third time.

"Cause I say so." Q replied

"What if Bowleena doesn't wanna?"

"Too bad for her if she doesn't."

"Your evil."

"So?"

"Uhh, Kish? Q-sama?" Bowleena held up a bowl of noodles

-Ten more minutes later-

"There, were done!" Bowleena cried, looking at the burnt noodles and the sauce that was not only burnt but had turned an odd shade of green.

"Kish…" Q said slowly.

"Yes?"

"Why is the sauce GREEN?.!.?.!"

"Uhh…" Kish looked at the green, burnt sauce then back at Q "I put food coloring to make it look more interesting?" It sounded like a question.

"Can I see the can?"

Kish passed it to her.

"YOU NORK! THIS ISN'T THE SPAGHETTI SAUCE! It's cream of broccoli and asparagus!" Q tossed the can at Kish's head.

"I'll give you two minutes." Q said.

"Really?"

"Minutes…seconds, I'm as good at math as I am at spelling and grammar…."

"AHHHH!" Kish ran for it and jumped out a nearby window.

A/N again:

Me: Question: what should Kish cook next? My brain's out of ideas already…

Kish: There she is!

ME: uh oh…Uhh, bye, I won't be updating 'till sometime in the beginning of August…sooo bye!

Bowleena: Catch that authoress!


	4. Kraft dinner

Disclaimer: say it with me: FAN fiction! Translation: I don't own!

A/N: Here's another chapter…sorry it's so short I've got writers block for this story, along with the dangers of cleaning…sory!

Kish and Q once again found themselves sitting in Kish's kitchen, waiting for Bowleena to come yelling in, clutching a large bag full of cooking supplies.

"Where IS she?.!.? She should have come in here shouting two minutes ago!" Kish exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

Suddenly there was a loud knocking (more like banging) at the door.

"LET ME IN!" yelled a voice that sounded EXACTLY like Bowleena, in fact it probably was for all Kish and Q know, which isn't much, was…

Kish cautiously crept up to the door and opened it.

Not even a nanosecond later Bowleena flew into the room, (yes! Literally! She some how magically grew wings like Krad, NOT!) Shouting, and laughing like a maniac.

"What are we making Q?" She asked, pausing briefly in her insane laughter.

Q shoved the neon green cookbook of DOOM at Bowleena, and said "Page ten."

"KRAFT DINNER?.!.?" Bowleena half-shouted. "Are you sure we're up to it?" She remarked sarcastically.

"Yes Bowleena, I think you are…I hope."

"Why did you tell me to buy all of these supplies, if all we're making is Kraft dinner?" The ever insane Bowleena asked.

"Elementary my dear Watson- I mean Bowleena. One I'm to lazy to think of a new chapter beginning and two, it's basically a tradition for you to come yelling in with a bag of supplies… and three, 'cause I say so."

Kish just rolled his eyes at Q's messed up logic.

"Anyway, on to business. KISH!"

"What?"

"Boil the noodles."

"Why me?"

"Cause you're the one learning to cook, not me."

The unopened box of Kraft dinner exploded in Kish's hands.

"-and when Bowleena cooks, nothing interesting like something exploding happens."

Kish growled and grabbed another bow of Kraft dinner and set to work at making it.

-A few minutes later-

"Pass the cheese powder Bowleena." Kish said, trying to make Kraft dinner for the tenth time.

Bowleena picked up the small package, and then decided to have a little fun with it and ripped open the top.

"It's snowing!" She shouted, running around the room shaking the powder on everything EXCEPT the pot of half-made noodles.

All too soon the pouch that previously held cheese powder was empty.

Q turned to look at Bowleena, wiping powder from her face. "I suggest you run." She said in a scaryishly calm voice.

And run she did, Q following close behind her.

-At dinner-

"Kish, are you sure this is dead?" Tarto asked poking at the Kraft dinner on his plate with a fork, which melted when it touched the noodles.

"Its Kraft dinner, you nork! It wasn't alive in the first place!" Kish said irritably.

"Then why is it making noises?"

The three aliens pushed their plates back.

"I vote for pizza." Pai said, picking his dinner up with tongs and putting it in the trash (the Kraft dinner burning the plastic).

"Are you SURE it's not alive?" Tarto asked, dumping his dinner to.

Kish just picked up the phone to order dinner.

A/N: (again)

Me: Please review and think of new cooking ideas (either than tarts, pie and quiche please)!

Kish and Bowleena: GET HER!

Me: How long can they stay on war path? It's already one and a half months!

K and B: GET BACK HERE!

Me: Heh…bye! –Heads for the hills-


	5. Pudding

Disclaimer: I don't own TMM, but I claim that pudding!

A/N:

Me: Gack! This chapter took waaaaaay too long for my own good…

Kish: Lazy.

Me: I had writers block! Oh and thanks to whoever suggested pudding, I was going to do salad too, but I decided not to, I might in another chapter though! Sorry, but I'm too sleep deprived to bother looking up your name; I'll mention you in the next chapter!

Kish: Lazy.

Me: Shut it you. –Whacks him with a nectarine-

Kish, Pai and Tarto and Q all sat in the alien's kitchen, waiting for Bowleena to come bursting into the room shouting.

"Shall I start the countdown?" Kish asked the others. Q, Pai and Tarto nodded in unison.

"Five!"

They all took a step away from the door.

"Four!"

Q crept forward and unlocked the door.

"Three!"

She then crept back to where she had been standing before.

"Two-"

On cue Bowleena burst into the room. "Hi Q, Kish, Pai and Tarto!" She paused. "Jeeze that's difficult to yell."

"Q-sama why are Pai and Tarto here? Are they learning how to cook too?" Bowleena asked.

"Just this time, I think. Cause today we are making something-" Q lowered her voice to a whisper "Special!"

"DUN DUN DUNN!" Bowleena yelled, rather immaturely.

The three aliens sweat dropped. "Does she do things like that often?" Tarto whispered to Kish.

"Sometimes."

"So Q, what are we making?" Bowleena asked, ignoring how immature she had been like two nanoseconds previous.

Q suddenly had an evil grin and whipped out a small package out of a random shopping bag. "Pudding."

"Wha-Where is that stupid monkey girl?" Tarto exclaimed jumping up from where he nearly fell asleep because of the lack of anything interesting happening in the chapter, up till now, as him exclaiming _was_ something interesting. A pencil sharpener coming from somewhere offstage whacked Q, reminding her to get on with it.

"I really need to know how to shut up…" Q said, chucking said pencil sharpener, hitting Pai's over abused head.

Kish turned to Q "You do realise that you just wasted an entire paragraph on you rambling, right?"

Just keep this fanfiction moving Bowleena decided to mess with Pai and Tarto.

"Nurse! Bring in the next patient!" Bowleena said to Tarto.

"What the heck are you-"

"Must I do everything around her? Other Nurse!" She shouted to Pai. "Bring in the next patient!"

He blinked.

"Fine! You lazy nurses! If you weren't so important I'd fire both of you!" She announced grabbing the package if pudding and looking at it from every angle possible to humankind, and probably alien-kind too.

"Mmhmmm, uh huh… NURSE ONE!" She shouted, catching even Kish and Q's attention. "Bring me my scalpel!"

"Bowle-" Pai started, but then was interrupted by Tarto.

"I thought _I _was nurse one!"

"It makes mores sense If I'm nurse one."

"But I wanna be nurse one!"

"Bu-" Pai once again was cut off, this time by none other than Q!

"HOW ABOUT TARTO IS A AND PAI ID B!" She bellowed.

The two nodded mutely.

"Nurse A! My scalpel!" Bowleena yelled.

"Sure whatever- wait, what's a scalpel?"

Encyclopaedia Pai answered that one. "It is a human device used for-"

Bowleena whacked him o the head. "Nurse B, kindly SHUT IT!" She looked at Tarto "It's that knife; it's a scalpel, or it is _now_!"

Nurse A (lol) handed Bowleena the 'scalpel'.

"Ok!" She grinned and cut the box open.

"Oh my. Oh my! _Oh my! OH MY!_" Bowleena said, repeating herself enough to make anyone cringe.

Bowleena's 'oh my-ing' wasn't a little annoying. "WHAT!" They shouted in unison. It was A LOT annoying.

Kish read the above sentence. "Q, that sentence makes no sense WHATSOEVER!"

Q raised her eyebrows. "In this fanfiction _what does_?"

"Good point."

Anyway, after their loud outburst Bowleena decided to _sound _sane and question their loud outburst.

"What?"

Q, Kish, Pai and Tarto all smacked themselves on the forehead.

"Oh, I get it! You want to know why I was saying oh my, right?"

They nodded as one-

"Well, I'm just surprised that Q-dono (Me: It's SAMA, Sa-ma!) Bought vanilla pudding, and not chocolate, 'cause she's a chocolate freak an' all…"

-and sweat dropped as one.

-Twenty minutes later-

Twenty minutes later everyone was happily munching on their pudding, except Q.

It had taken ten extra minutes to make the pudding because Kish had gotten the idea that it needed to be heated up before eating, and ignoring Pai's lecturing somehow managed to make the pudding explode. Needless to say, they had to make the pudding ALLLLL over again.

"Q-dono?" (Me; IT'S SAMA!"

"What."

"Why aren't you eating your pudding?"

"Because this is the first time we've made something and it hasn't expl-" Suddenly everyone's bowl of pudding exploded for no apparent reason.

"-oded."

A/N (again):

Me: I think I killed my spell checker from my bad grammar and spelling…

Kish: -Is too shocked to speak (he saw my bad spelling/grammar!)-


	6. Whacking

Disclaimer: No I don't own TMM! Take THAT lawyers! Wait I messed that up, didn't I?

A/N: HUZZAH! The newest chapter strait from the depths of my insanity! Well, it did take ages, so it must have gotten lost…my insanity is big… -smacks forehead- I'm sorry to say that I'm to lazey to bother finding oiut who suggested pudding but I will in the next! Any way on with the fanfiction!

The well-known insane blond Bowleena burst into the kitchen of DOOM (and random exploding/flaming things) shouting.

"HI KISH, Q-SAMA, PAI-" Suddenly Bowleena tripped over a random sack of flour that was randomly placed in Bowleena's path earlier. And went flying (no she did not randomly mutate into a bird-mutant-type-thing.) into Kish, Q and Tarto landing in a huge pile, Q on the bottom and Bowleena on the very top.

From her point of view, Bowleena could see Q visibly twitching.

Pai merely glanced at the pile; half interested, and then turned back to his book.

"Bowleena…" Q said in an I-am-pretending-to-be-calm-before-I-kill-you voice 'I Am going to KILL you!" Q somehow managed to wriggle out from under Kish and Tarto and proceeded to chase Bowleena, who had started to inch away long ago, around the room whacking her whenever possible.

-One whacking later-

"Ok" Q announced "now that that's _mostly_ out of my system" She paused to whack Bowleena on the shoulder, who moaned something about 'abusive friends'. "I'll tell you what you're doing today."

"Don't we get to choose?" Kish whined.

"Do you ever?"

Kish pouted. "Today children," Q said in a creepy-kindergarten-teacher voice "We're making TWO things!"

"Whoop-de-do." Tarto muttered, who was promptly smacked with the neon green cookbook of DOOM.

"So Q, what are we making?"

"Pudding." She stated.

"WHAT? Where is that crazy monkey freak? I-" Pai conveniently smacked his hand over Tarto's mouth, muffling his rant slightly.

"Actually, I was joking, we're making icing and brownies.

"Great, just what she needs, more sugar." Kish muttered to Pai, who still held a hand over the ever ranting Tarto, pointing to Bowleena who was annoying Q with her babblings about her biggest obsession; Satoshi.

"Bowleena could you possibly shut up about Satoshi for one second-"

"Well…

"-Before I whack you."

Bowleena shut up.

"Kish!" Q boomed.

"Yes sir!"

Q rolled her eyes and bopped him on the head with the evil cookbook of DOOM… and whacking.

"Yay for dot-dot-dots!" Bowleena shouted.

After quickly smacking Bowleena with her awesome weapon of DOOM (and whacking) Q began actually attempting to cook. "Kish get the icing sugar!"

"Yes sir!"

"Are you going to say that _every time _I ask you to get something?"

"Yes sir!"

"Just get the icing sugar."

"Yes sir!"

Ignoring Kish's obvious insanity Q continued on. "Bowleena get the bowl!"

"Yes sir!" His insanity was spreading.

Q glared. "I AM a GIRL you know!"

Bowleena and Kish grinned evilly. "Really?" Kish asked. "I thought that-"

"Shut UP Kish!"

Moments later Bowleena and Kish were both rubbing brand new bruises and Q was giving orders. "Tarto get the bowl for Bowleena."

"So NOW you're acknowledging our presence? We don't like being ignored do we Pai?" Tarto yelled.

"Hmm? I didn't know you knew the word acknowledging." Pai wandered off, probably to go make up another plot to take over the world or something.

Tarto glared then stuck out his tongue, rather immaturely, and ran off.

"Well I guess that means that I'm down two helpers…"

Q looked back at Kish and Bowleena who were both edging towards the door.

"Is anyone going to actually COOK in this chapter?"

"No Ma'am!" Kish and Bowleena shouted, bolting through the front door.

Suddenly a random brownie with icing appeared above Q's head and splated onto her head.

"Well…" She said, picking out the worst of the brownie and throwing it behind her, not caring at all about the alien's kitchen. "This chapter has been, uhh….fun…" She shrugged then followed Kish and Bowleena's path out the door.


	7. Gingerbread house, or maybe not

Disclaimer: Along with jelly bellies and Twinkies, Tokyo mew mew and its characters is one of the many things I don't own.

A/N: Huzzah!!! I'm updating! READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END!

It was a lovely day in outer space (or where ever the spaceship is), well as nice as an airless empty space filled with big burning gas clumps can be. Anyway, as in all of the other chapters this one started with Bowleena bursting into the kitchen with bags of full of utensils to murder Q's sanity and the poor kitchen. Only this time instead of opening the door like a sane person (which you all better know by now that Bowleena is not) she decided to kick the poor door down shattering it into tiny splinters of wood that showered Q's agonisingly long hair.

Ignoring the fact that she had annoyed Q yet again, and that she had just broken down a door, Bowleena cheerfully strode into the room with her usual shout of "Hi Kish and Q-sama, and possibly Pai and Tarto!" Luckily for everyone, before Bowleena had entered the room in her usual fashion, Q had made sure that there were no random sacks of flour for Bowleena to trip over. But there _was _the broken door, which she happened to trip over, causing the bags of groceries to go flying through to room to hit Pai's over abused head, knocking him out once again.

Bowleena stood up, ignoring that she had knocked Pai out for something like the third time and shouted "I'M OK!" causing every one to wince and shove their fingers in their ears.

"Sooo, what are we making to day Q?" Kish asked after his ears stopped ringing and he was sure that Q hadn't gone deaf, attempting to look in a bag of groceries. "Well, since we didn't make brownies last time I though that we would this time-" Q was cut off by Bowleena "Oops… Yay for dot dot dots!" Q glared. "What did you say?" Bowleena sweat dropped "Eheheheh… Yay for dot dot dots?"

"Before that."

"…?"

"No, before _that_."

"Oops?"

"What do you mean 'oops'?" Q was starting to sound a bit scary.

"Do you want the truth, or one of those little white lies that doesn't hurt anyone?" "Bowleena Alexis-" "OK!" Bowleena exclaimed "I admit it! I bought candy and stuff at the store instead of baking stuff!"

Kish blinked "That's random."

Q sighed "Well, then we'll have to make a GINGERBREAD-LESS GINGERBREAD HOUSE!" –Insert maniacal laughter here-

Bowleena and Kish sweat dropped as Q continued to laugh insanely. "Gingerbread-less gingerbread house?" Bowleena asked.

"Yes." Q stated calmly, as if she hadn't been laughing insanely five milliseconds previously. Bowleena blinked "How does that work?"

"Well," Q said "First you take gram crackers" She snagged a box of gram crackers "and make a house by sticking them together with icing" Icing magical flew from a random bag into her hand and she stuck a couple of crackers together "And then you slather the remaining part of your house with icing and stick candy-" she reached for the bags of candy, only to find that they were missing "on it? OH MY GOD! Bowleena the candy's missing" she jumped to her feet and turned to tell said insane tori the tragic and horrific news only to see an exceedingly hyper Kish and Bowleena, the ever unconscious Pai, a bunch of half-empty bags of candy, and a random kangaroo. "A kangaroo?" Q asked. "What the heck?" she continued on, ignoring the random animal that had randomly appeared in the alien's kitchen "Bowleena, did you and Kish eat most of the candy?" She asked threateningly, pointing the bag of icing sugar at her. "Yup! Heyyyy, is that sugar?" Q nodded "YAY FOR SUGAR!" Shouted the very hyper Bowleena who grabbed the icing sugar and ran around spraying everyone with it shouting "Nuh nuh nuh nuh, nuh nuh nuh, nuh ICING SUGAR! To the rescue!" She continued to do so until the bag was empty and the room covered in icing, and then joined Kish in devouring the remaining candy. Sighing Q turned back to her gingerbread-less gingerbread house, only to find it gone, although she did see a figure similar to Tarto running away with what looked like her gingerbread-less gingerbread house.

Deciding that she was determined to eat some sort of candy that day, she reached of a lone candy, only for it to explode.

"Well, duh, something needs to explode in this chapter." And with that the last bag of candy Kish and Bowleena were eating imploded.

A/N (again): Weee! That was fun! Ok just to let you know THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE LAST ONE! So I've decided that if anyone wants, they can be in that chapter, if you do, please tell me what you want to make!

Kish: the next chapter's gonna be long, right?

Me: YUP! Merry christmas, happy Kwanza, happy Hanukah , happy winter solstice, and happy whatever else any one is celebrating! Or if you aren't celebrting anything, happy monday!


	8. The LAST CHAPTER part 1, cheesecake

Disclaimer: Ok every on, it's story time! Once upon a time there was a person named Fnick (or Q) who didn't own Tokyo mew mew, the end! Wasn't that _fun_?

A/N: Ok, sorry but, this chapter's gonna have to be split up into parts, cause I'm lazy and it'd be to long… I'll do part2 soon, I hope…Thanks to Bowleena, KisshuFanGirl, Mew-Sahara, and SAKURA1234 for asking to be in the fic, and of the ideas for what to cook. And to everyone else who reviewed!

"Hi Q, Kish, random reviewers that are in this chapter and possibly Pai and Tarto!" Bowleena shouted exploding (no she did not cause the poor abused door to break again) into the room. "You know Q, my first sentence is getting harder to yell every time!" Ignoring her, (Bowleena: How can she ignore me like that? HOWWWW?) Q just checked the numerous bags, more than normal as they were making more than one thing, to make sure the proper ingredients were there and not tons of candy, as a hyper Bowleena and Kish was annoying enough, imagine a hyper Bowleena, Kish, Pai, Tarto, and various reviewers. (Shudder) After confirming that the bags were not stuffed full of sugar and so on, Q finally noted Bowleena's presence.  
"Hi Bowleena," she also noted Kish, Pai, Tarto and others presence "And aliens and other random people." Ignoring Tarto's indignant shout of "How dare you associate me with that pathetic excuse of an alien!", Q began to answer Bowleena's millions of questions.

"No, yes, maybe, no, WHAT????" Bowleena giggled insanely and began to ask her _real _questions, and not her insane random ones about D N angel and the object of her obsession; Satoshi.

"What are we making today Q-dono?"

"IT'S SAMA!!!!!" Q shouted, then regained her calm composure "We're making strawberry cheesecake, cupcakes, pizza, and a birthday cake for whoever's birthday's today, and QUICHE!"

The room gasped.

Well not the room exactly, more like the contents of the room. Not including the stove or refrigerator. Or any other inanimate objects for that matter.

"Who are all of these random people?" The insane Satoshi-obsessed blond asked, motioning to the 'others'. "This is KisshuFanGirl, Mew-Sahara (Or maybe just Sahara for short…), and SAKURA1234." Q nodded importantly "And thanks to SassyDragon for reviewing, and any other people I'm too lazy to find names of."

Kish muttered something that sounded shockingly like 'lazy' and was promptly thwacked with the neon green cookbook of DOOM. And at the moment, whacking and thwacking.

"ANY WAY… First we're gonna make strawberry cheesecake!"

"NOOOO!" Bowleena randomly shouted. "What was that for?" Kish asked. "She was being a moron." Pai stated, being the normal creepy person that he is (or is that alien?). Q sweat dropped as Pai and Tarto argued about the definition of 'Moron' and if reading the dictionary was weird, Bowleena wailed loudly about abusive friends and that she wasn't a moron, and Kish was tackled/hugged/glomped by the reviewers/Kish fangirls.

"OK!" She shouted "Who wants to cook?"

Silence.

"Or destroy my sanity?"

A few small murmurs, but otherwise silence.

"Or exploding the kitchen?"

"WOOOOO! EXPLODING THE KITCHEN!" Everyone, minus Pai who was muttering something about not having insurance sounding annoyed, shouted.

Q slapped her forehead at the massive amount of insanity. "Ok…" She read the directions to everyone only to notice that no one, not even Pai who had fled, wasn't listening. "So…did _anyone _get that?" Everyone shook their heads. "…this is gonna be a loooong day…"

-One long boring explanation later-

"So did everyone get that NOW?"

Everyone once again shook their heads "Nope!" Mew-Sahara stated cheerfully.

Q's eye twitched "GAH! Fine, let's just shove everything into a pan and put it in the fridge and hope that it doesn't explode…" Everyone nodded and began to attempt to make strawberry cheesecake.

(Quick A/N here, do you know how hard it is to find a simple strawberry cheesecake recipe is, seriously I found tofu strawberry cheesecake, and sour cream cheese cake and sweet potato cheesecake, but still didn't find plain old strawberry cheesecake on five sites on google O.o)

Bowleena was running around with the cream cheese, shouting something non-understandable (wow, it's an actually a word according to the computer!), with Q running after her trying to get her to set the poor cream cheese down.

Tarto, KisshuFanGirl and Kish were 'testing' the cookies that were for the crust to make sure that they weren't 'stale'. Ignoring Q who at the same time as chasing Bowleena, was shouting for them to stop eating the ingredients.

SAKURA1234 and Pai (who had randomly reappeared in the room, randomly!) were stirring the strawberries, lemon juice and sugar together for no reason at all.

All too soon, Bowleena lost interest in tormenting Q with the half-melted cream cheese (can cream cheese even melt??), tossed it behind her and joined SAKURA1234 and Pai in adding the cream to their mixture.

Soon after the cookies ran out, making them decide that they would have to make a crust-less strawberry cheesecake.

Cheerfully Kish dumped in a massive amount of cinnamon into the mixture, much too every ones disgust, why they were disgusted, no one will probably know…  
soon Mew-Sahara added the last ingredient left, a lone bottle of vanilla. Bowleena dumped the disgusting mixture that had turned a random shade of purple (O.o) into a pan and shoved it into the refrigerator.

"So…now what?" KisshuFanGirl asked, who was, true to her name, attempting to hug Kish, who was struggling and screaming something about rabid fangirls.

Bowleena and SAKURA1234 shrugged. "Cards anyone?" Bowleena asked, pulling a pack of cards from out of nowhere. "Sure." "Anyone know how to play poker?"

"How 'bout you help me play let's-help-Q-clean-up-this-disaster-so-she-doesn't-go-insane?" Q asked, gesturing to the mounds of garbage and dirty dishes.

Kish, SAKURA1234, Mew-Sahara, Pai, KisshuFanGirl, Tarto and Bowleena all blinked, then shared a horrified "Why the heck would we do that?"

-later, after Q finally finished cleaning up and Bowleena, KisshuFanGirl and Kish lost horribly to Pai, Tarto and SAKURA123. And Mew-Sahara was just constantly switching between teams for no reason at all and the cards had hit Pai in the head (multiple times) and got knocked out (again, multiple times)-

"Ok!" Q stated happily "I think that the cheesecake should be done by now!"

The cheesecake had randomly turned yellow during the time it was in the fridge and smelt strongly of fish and socks.

They all took a deep breath and took a bite.

Then promptly spat it out.

"EWWWWW!"

The cheesecake-thing suddenly exploded in their faces, showering them with bits of strawberries.

Q blinked "That was random."

Everyone nodded "Well see ya next time!" Everyone shouted then disappeared in a shower of rabid salt and vinegar chips.

A random giraffe appeared out of nowhere "Well that was weird." He stated, then everything exploded.

A/N (again): WOOO! I finished part one of this chapter! Yea, so I'll do the next part soon!


	9. Super awsome extra chapter!

Disclaimer: I'm dead. But I'm writing this, so I'm a zombie. Zombies don't own TMM, therefore I don't own Tokyo mew mew.

A/N: This was totally random. It's based on what happened to me earlier today when I tried the same recipe. (It _is _a really recipe by the way). Bah, I'll put up the real chapter 9 up eventually. And everything else I need to update…P.S. implied Pai-Lettuce pairing, only one line.

Kish groaned in frustration at the terrible mess of the kitchen he had made.

It was 1AM and somehow he was down in the dreaded kitchen.

Why, you ask?

Well, it all started when Kish was wide awake in his room unsuccessfully trying to go to sleep. Which wasn't working at all for him, because he was hungry. No worse than that, he was _starving_.

Not only that, he had the most random craving for a certain earth food; the baking-powder biscuits Q had tried to teach him to make, but it hadn't worked out at all, so Q made a batch by herself for him (they were good, even Pai, who didn't like any earth food, with the exception of pizza and Lettuce's home made lunches, though he refused to admit the last one) , to prove how much better than she was at cooking that him, although a rock could cook better than him… he was trying not to think about that.

So, that was why Kish the kitchen destroyer was trying his hand at making biscuits himself.

He glanced around the kitchen which was rivalling Tarto's (messy) room, and all he had done was go on a hunt for a wooden spoon, the measuring stuff, and a plastic bowl.

Wow. That was kinda sad.

Ignoring the fact he had just ruined the carefully organised cupboards Bowleena had spent a long afternoon organising, Kish whipped out the handy dandy recipe Q had written down for him.

Ok, first things first! Q had said to always read the ingredients and instructions first before doing anything. He bent down and began to read Q's extremely messy writing.

_Baking Powder Biscuits_

_6 cups flour_

_1 teaspoon salt_

_3 (heaping) tablespoons baking powder_

_1 (heaping) tablespoon sugar_

_Milk_

_Preheat oven at 400° Fahrenheit. Mix all dry ingredients together in a bowl. Add milk to dry ingredients until right thickness. Bake for 15 minutes or less._

Wow, Q really had messy writing! And was bad at explaining stuff, like how would he know when the batter was at the right thickness?

Well, he'd have to depend on his inner cook… and hope he wouldn't get killed in the process…

Anyways, onwards, huzzah!

Kish grabbed all of the necessary ingredients, whilst making an even bigger mess of the cupboards. (Bowleena was gonna kill him for that…)

So, now to preheat the oven.

But how?

So after a great deal of pressing a few random buttons and a lot of nearly mauling the appliance in question Kish somehow managed to set the oven at 400°, at least he thought he had, because of the little flashing '400_°_' on the stove's tiny screen.

Now for the actual recipe.

Flour… 6 cups was a lot of flour…and he was running out of it, so he would have to cut the entire recipe in half. But, would he have to change the oven from 400_° _to 200_°_? He shuddered at thought. Perhaps not…

So now he only had to add 3 cups flour- flour, what a weird name of the soft white stuff that always made him sneeze. Why had these strange humans named such a weird substance after a plant? Furthermore, how did they come up with the idea of grinding up a bunch of wheat?

ANYWAYS- he also had to add ½ teaspoon salt, 1 ½ tablespoons of baking powder and ½ tablespoon of sugar. And the milk.

Simple enough, measure the flour dump it in- POOF! He sneezed, covering himself head to toe with white powder, along with the counter.

Oops.

Re-measure the flour, plug nose to avoid sneezing and- SNORT! Oww that hurt, even though he had his conk firmly plugged, a bit of flour had sneaked in. Weakly he dumped the remaining flour into the untouched bowl.

Ow. He rubbed at his throat that really hurt…anyhoo, time for the salt. He hefted up the heavy carton. He only needed ½ teaspoon.

He positioned the ½ teaspoon over the flour filled bowl and began to pour the salt.

Unfortunately for Kish the salt container was quite slippery and slipped ever so slightly causing him to gracefully dump half of the container of salt into his flour.

"GLARX!" Kish yelled loudly, flailing his arms about madly, making the half-container of salt of go flying across the room and smash into the wall, sending salt everywhere. Now Q was going to kill him too.

Apparently Kish hadn't been as stealthy as he had thought he had, as Pai stumbled through the kitchen door- still mostly asleep. "What the heck are you doing down here at-" Pai checked his watch "1:25 in the morning?"

"Well I-" Kish started, but Pai didn't wait for him to finish by falling over, fast asleep. Kish suppressed a shudder, good thing he had fallen asleep when he had, Pai was scary when he was still asleep.

After dragging his older and somewhat creepier alien companion to bed (praying to whatever God that was listening that Pai wouldn't remember anything) and also after re-measuring the flour (again) and the salt, Kish measured the sugar and the baking powder (careful not to inhale either).

After that and mixing the dries together, all that was left was the dreaded, un-specifed part where all Kish could do was guess. And pray. And pour the milk.

"Ok…" Kish muttered. This was it. He warily unscrewed the milk's cap readied his wooden spoon.

He tipped the mill jug slightly and a small amount of milk came out. He stirred.

Not enough.

More milk.

Still not enough.

Even more milk, not enough.

More, and not enough- WOAH! Way too much! It was ok; Q had said that flour made stuff thicken up, right? So all he had to do was add more flour, and maybe a bit of everything else. He dumped in some flour. Perfect, just had to stir it together now.

Wow, that batter was starting to get sticky and really hard to stir and- SNAP!

Whoops, the spoon had just snapped. Ahahahaha…

After digging out the spoon particles Kish decided that the batter was stirred enough, and he didn't want to risk anymore spoons, or risk getting Q or Bowleena any madder than they would be.

Now to get the sticky concrete-like gunk out of the bowl and onto the counter. What fun.

A few minutes later Kish had succeeded in getting a good portion of the goo out of the bowl, though half of it remained on the sides of the bowl or stuck to the broken spoon, then he thought of something; Q had put flout on her hands and the table, so that the dough wouldn't stick. Shoot.

After a great deal of fighting, Kish managed to free a hand (covered in goop, it looked like he had a wonky, melting glove on) and snagged the flour and dumped a scoop of it all over the counter and rolled his free hand in it (now his melting glove looked sorta mouldy and moth-eaten)

With his trapped hand Kish let go of the slime which stuck to his hand and stretched down to the floury counter. After a vigorous shaking and fair amount of curses under his breath Kish freed his other hand and promptly shoved his entire hand into the flour jar (ignoring the imaginary Q in his head that was yelling 'You flour-waster!') and obtained a matching, powdery glove.

He grabbed a handful of flour and released it onto the goo. A "Mix dang it, you stupid dough, flour is your friend!"

He kneaded more and more flour into the gunk, occasionally flipping it over (sticking to the very floury counter where it had absorbed all of the flour) until he had no flour left, ('Kish, you flour-waster!'), and the goop was now somewhat more manageable.

He squished the very powdery flatter and cut them with a circular cutter and carefully placed them on a greased cookie sheet.

Hmm, he was starting to sound like Martha Stewart; maybe he should start his own show…

He tiredly pushed a few random buttons and ended up with the timer on for fifteen minutes and shoved the biscuits into the oven and then (after cleaning the glop off of his arms) collapsed into a chair and laid his head on the table, ignoring the pile of flour that his head was resting on and was sure to make him sneeze.

Ahh, he was tired now, but still starving…

"Hey Kish!" Tarto's annoying voice said loudly from approximately 1.5 inches from his ear. "Whaa?" Kish mumbled blurrily. "These scone-things me 'n' Pai found in the oven are really good!" Kish sat up sharply "Scone-things? You didn't-" He spotted the _empty _cookie sheet lying atop of the stove. "My biscuits!" Kish wailed loudly.

Tarto glanced at Kish and said, with his mouth full, spraying crumbs everywhere. "Pai said to leave you one, so I did and it's over there- no, wait oops, I just ate it…"

Kish gave a strange sound of someone being strangled.

Pai entered the kitchen "Tarto, do you know why I woke up on the floor?"

Tarot gave him a weirded-out look "Why the heck would I know that?.!"

Kish simply fell over sideways onto the floury and salty floor and moaned.

Pai raised an eyebrow "What's with him?"

"Dunno, maybe it was something he ate."

A/N (again): All I have to say is, thanks Stone for the alien swear word (glarx) and that I made fun of myself a bit, have pity on me, reviews make the world a 'round! (And makes a certain authoress very happy!) Have a nice trip to the other side of the world Bowleena!


	10. Pai braves the Kitchen

Disclaimer: I don't claim to own anything, I'm just a nobody that procrastinates WAY too much. I do, however own Gabrielle the fuzz-blob. So there!

A/N: I'm sorry? Yeah. I kinda deleted Microsoft Word. (GAH BAKA FNICK!!!!!!!) So writtings a bit tough right now...as I have to do so without spell check. And we all know how bad I am without it...right. I have another half written chapter lurking around here somewhere. I'll try to finish it and post it. Try.

I was reading an old reveiw (I think it was from the toilet ninja or somthing like that) and was inspired. Please don't kill me for doing so horrible with Pai's character...

Chapter Ten: Pai braves the Kitchen and enters the twilight zone only to be scarred for life

Pai was mad at Kish.

Very mad.

Very, VERY mad.

V- enough of that.

Anyways, Pai was extreamly mad at Kish and was considering murdering Kish by tossing him out a twenty-story window.

Actually, that was no longer an option, as Kish's creepy (and extremely obsessive) fangirls would maul him if even attempted to Kill Kish.

He didn't quite feel up to getting mauled today.

You're probaly all wondering what caused Pai to be so mad at Kish.

Well, it all started when Pai got hungry...

It was noon, and generally people, and aliens, get hungry around then, as did Pai.

So like most people, or aliens, he went to the kitchen to see if there was anything edible there. Which would be pretty surprising if there was, considering the state of the kitchen.

Upon entering the dreded kitchen Pai was surprised to see that (for once) it was _not _filled with random fanfiction writers/readers, Q, Bowleena, rabid chips or cats, Tarto, or Kish for that matter.

Pai was feeling faint.

The kitchen too was shockingly CLEAN.

It was too much.

Had he entered the...(insert theme music here) TWILIGHT ZONE? DUN DUN DUNNNNN!

He looked around rapidly; any moment an asteroid or something should come crashing through the celing.

He waited.

"Glarx it!" He shouted towards the heavens "Can't ANYTHING be on TIME anymore!" He cried, acting insanely out of character.

Deciding that his early-life crisis would have to wait in line for his attention after his hunger. And a butt-load of other stuff he needed to think about later. Like the meaning of life...and...other junk like that. 42!

He cautiously opened the fridge door.

And stumbled back gasping for the rancid stench.

How many thing have died in there?!? he wonderd.

Everything was covered in blue and pink fuzz.

He spotted a single glass filled with...brown stuff, that was the only thing that wasn't covered in fuzz.

He didn't even WANT to know how long that thing had been in there. Let alone what it had been in the first place.

He, with the grace of some one handling an atomic bomb, shut the door to the fridge.

That...had been traumatizing.

He would never be able to look at the fridge the same ever again.

He exited the kitchen. Time for take-out...

"Hey Pai!" A strange and completly un-familiar voice shouted to him. "Haha! That rymes! Haha!" A pause. "No wait it doesn't...if your name was pie, I coulda' said 'Hi pie!' But your name isn't Pie. DUB-ETH YOU PIE!"

Pai shuddered.

He turned around slowly to face...

A pile of...fuzz.

It...was the ATTACK OF THE STUFF EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT FROM THE BACK OF THE FRIDGE!

Playing in a theatre near you.

"What...are you?" Pai asked carefully, edging towards the door.

The creature...frowned. If that was even possible to do when it didn't have a face, or even a head. It was just a blob of fuzzy goo. That talked. And moved. Be very afraid.

"Well...I think I was butterfly pocky, watermelon, Grape soda and spagetti sauce mixed together at one point...but you never really know, there might of been some ketchup in there somewhere..."

Kish.

Only Kish wouold be bored enough to mix up a concoction such as that. And shove it in the fridge and forget about it.

He was...SO DEAD.

"Anyways, on to more important matters," The fuzz said, waving a... tentacle about. "Will you go out with me Pie?"

If it were h- alien-ly possible, Pai's eyes would have popped out and rolled across the floor like marbles.

"Please Pie, please Pie, PLEASE PIE!"

Pai blinked "Uh, no..."

Green slime started to ooze out of the fuzz, like tears. "UWAAAAH! Pie you're so MEAN!"

Back away Pai...nice and slow.

Then as soon as you get to the door- RUN! Run like...there's a pile of fuzzy goo oozing green slime chasing you!

"Please Pie, I want you to go to the Prom with meeee!"

This..was just too scary to comprehend.

"KISH!"

"You yelled?" Kish asked boredly, stickikng his head out a random door.

"You created this...THING!" Pai pointed to the fuzz. The fuzz pouted at being called a 'thing'.

"Ah...Gabrielle..." Kish sweat dropped.

"KISH!" The fuzz cried, running to give Kish a glomp/tackle/hug.

Kish took a step sideways.

The fuzz hit the wall with a SPLAT.

It oozed down to the floor.

Kish stared at it.

"Let's never speak of this again." He said.

"Agreed."

Tarto never did find out why Pai and Kish refused to go into the kitchen for the rest of the week...


	11. The Insane Chapter

GASP! IT'S AN UPDATE! Amazing, no? Feel free to pelt me with rotten tomatos for beeing a lazy terrible and altogether evil authoress for not updating this earlier.

On another note, KISH VS. COOKING HAS 54 REVEIWS!!!! This may not sound like alot to most of you (far better) fan fiction authors/esses, but that's four more than what I got for my (GAWD AWFUL) Inuyasha story that I wrote...EONS ago that I utterly LOATH with every fiber of my being because it is so STUPID and terribly written. And as you probaly have noticed Inuyasha fanfiction is insanely more popular, and let's face it, a large portion of TMM fanfiction is crappy, terrible Mary-sue filled garbage that most like to write and few bother to read, so to get so many reveiws from a less popular fandom is amazing. Not to say that I haven't written any of _that _type of fanfiction...-shifty eyes-

Anyways, I'll stop rambling now. ON TO THE (LAST) CHAPTER!!!!

Kish Vs. Cooking

Chapter Ten (which I should have written AGES ago...)

Kish stared at Q. "You suck." He stated bluntly.

"But...WHY???" Q wailed in an over-dramatic fashion.

"This chapter was due ages ago, and the last two chapters were filler. Really bad filler, I may add."

The baka authoress paused for a moment."I'm SORRRRY!!!!" She glomped her faithful readers, plus Pai (who really was close to getting a concussion), Kish (who looked quite alarmed), Tarto (who was still convince that the kitchen was haunted((see chapter two)) and Gabrielle (who really shouldn't have been in there because she/it was rather...unsanitary)

"Anyways today we're making..." Q whipped out her handy (dandy) reveiw list. "Cupcakes, pizza, and birthday cake. Hmm, coulda sworn the list was longer before. OH WELL. With us will be KisshuFanGirl, Mew-Sahara, and SAKURA1234, SassyDragon and Lula-san." Q nodded importantly, feeling very...important... "And Bowleena, Pai" Pai looked possitively _horrified_ at this "and Tarto because it's the last chapter!"

Gabrielle tugged on Q's sleeve, how she managed this _amazing _feat (so amazing due to the fact that Gabrielle is made of a bunch nasty stuff from the back of the fridge and has no hands), no one will ever know. NEVER, NEVER I TELL YOU! NEVER! MWAHAHAHA!!!

Evereyone in the room gave Q a cautious look as she randomly burst in to manical laughter.

"Q, I wanna be in this chapter tooooo!"

"You're a blob of goo that was food at one point."

"SO? THAT'S RACEISM!" Gabrielle declared indignatly, and if she had them she probaly would have put her hands on her (non-existant) hips.

"You were food at one point...You cooking would be like...FOOD CANABILISM!"

Gabrielle stared at Q's strangely warped logic.

The poor logic, Q must have left it out in the sun again.

"Besides," Q continued, nodding sagely, feeling very...Sagely. "Didn't you die in the last chapter?"

Gabrielle blinked. "Oh yeah..." She said.

And then she exploded.

Everyone stared at the spot where bloob-of-DOOM-y-goo-Gabrielle had stood...oozed...EXISTED a second previously.

"Well..." Tarto stated slowly. "That was...odd." Then he fainted from shock.

And then Q's messed up logic shattered, sending bits of logic flying. A particularily large piece hit Pai on his over-abused noggin.

He fell over, he had been knocked out again.

"Jeeze!" Q exclaimed. "Just when my logic broke, the worlds logic starts to work again!'

"Would someone like to take Tarto and Pai to the hospital?" Kish asked boredly, waiting for the plot to hurry up and arrive; honestly 382 words and no plot.

"KisshuFanGirl and SassyDragon will!" Q exclaimed (again...where's my thesaurus when you need it?)

The two reveiwers blinked. They had been volenteered for something without beeing asked. THEY ACTUALLY, GASP, GOT TO DO SOMETHING! HURRAH!

They happily walked off screen, draging Pai and Tarto off in the direction they presumed the HOSPITAL OF DEATH, little did they know, they were actually heading towards the...(insert Q trying desperatly to think up something funny. Her brain just blew a gasket! OH NO!) ...CITY OF TOWNSVILLE!

Yes. Q did just make a Powerpuff Girls and a Blues Clues reference in the same chapter. Someone please shoot her.

The remaning people, plus one alien, just sat. And existed. Because you can't just stop existing simply because you want to.

"Well!" Q exclaimed indignantly. Why indignantly, you may ask. She exclaimed indignantly, instead of peeved, because it's is a funny word. Please, those of you that still have a little of your sanitly left, don't atttempt to understand that last sentence, it will steal your remaining sanity. And possibly your socks.

Anyways, where were we? Ah yes... "Well!" Q exclaimed indignatly. "We'll have to start without Bowleena! She's late! Very late! HOW DARE SHE BE LATE FOR SUCH AN IMPORTANT CHAPTER! HOW DARE SHE?" Q grabbed Kish by the shoulders and started shaking him roughly. "HOW DARE SHEEEE??"

Kish shoved Q, who continued to wail 'how dare she', off of him

"HOW DARE SHE?" Q shouted to the heavens.

"Er...easily?"

"Eh. Probaly." Q nodded intellectually, feeling very...intellectual?

Q shrugged. "Let's start!"

"No!" Mew-Sahara declared. "Let's STOP!"

"SURE!" Q agreeded exuberantly.

"...how do we stop if we haven't started?" SAKURA1234 asked sounding somewhat confused and... sane...

"GASP! You still have LOGIC! AND SANITY! How DO you do it?"

"Er...easily?" Lula-san guessed bemusedly, tilting her head to one side.

"You copied my very intelligent and...SMART statement! I'd say 'gasp how could you' and then someone else would say 'er...easily' but that would be the third time. And that's over-quoting!"

"Says who?" Q demanded...feeling very...demanding...

"Some dead guy?" Kish guessed.

"THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM!" Q shouted unexpectedly. Everyone _else _felt very...unexpected...

"The charm of what?" Kish asked.

"You?"

"Me?"

"Yes you!"

"Me what?"

"ME ME!" The newly reformed Gabrielle shouted before dissapearing magically again.

Everyone blinked...feeling very...oh I give up...

In the city of TOWNSVILLE

"I TOLD you, we're going the wrong way!" KisshuFanGirl declared.

"I knew we shouldn't have used MapQuest..." SassyDragon mumbled.

"Where the _fritter cookies _ARE we?" Tarto asked loudly.

"HEY! YOU WOKE UP!" SassyDragon and KisshuFanGirl blurted in unison.

"Pai isn't though. I think he's in a coma..." KisshFanGirl stated.

"Well, he has been hit on the head quite a few times." SassyDragon

"HEY IT'S MOJO JOJO!" Tarto shouted pointing upwards at an almost painfully akward angle.

"And the PowerPuff Girls!" Added Gabrielle who disapeared magically again.

In the Kitchen of...(Doom...death...uhh) Diabolical...ness?

"Hey, Q..."

"Yeeees, Kish?"

"...you're weird."

"I'm fairly sure we've eptablished this. What were you going to say?"

"What in _glarx _name is that oddly-shaped snowman doing in the kitchen?"

"Because it CAN." Mew-Sahara said proudly.

The snowman snorted. "You think I WANT to be in this stupid kitchen? HUH? Dop ya? HUH? HUH? HUUUUH?"

Everyone stared at the outraged snowman.

"Um...no?" SAKURA1234 said after a long moment of akward silence.

"Actually I do!" The snowman said cheerfully.

"WHY?" Kish asked loudly"WHY in the name of Pai's pink teaddybear would ANYONE...thing...actually WANT to be in this horror of a kitchen?"

The snowman turned to Lula-san. "He's nuts isn't he?"

TOWNSVILLE

KisshuFanGirl, SassyDragon and Tarto, accompanied by the coma-ifyed Pai walked down the streets of Townsville searching for (the non-existant) Hospital of DEATH. Which you may notice is a very stupid name to give a hospital, and a more suiting one would be probaly something along the lines of the hospital of sunshine, lollypops and rainbows. But no, the morons that named the hospital named it the Hospital of DEATH.

"I think," Tarto stated in a very...stating voice, feeling very...stately? "that we're going the wrong way."

"NONSENSE!"

-One minute later-

"I think we're going the wrong way."

"ARRRRG!!!"

Kitchen of Diabolical-ness

Q, Kish, SAKURA1234, Lula-san and Mew-Sahara had finally started to cook, sans KishuFanGirl and SassyDragon, Bowleena, Tarto and Pai.

Though it was more of a food fight than actual cooking.

Kish was throwing eggs at everyone and their Aunt Sally (whom he was actually good friends with)

Q was alternating between wailing about how Bowleena was late and shooing Gabrielle out of the kitchen continuously.

Lula-san was singing a song that had to do with plastic pumpkins and flowers whilts spraying vanilla extract at everyone.

Mew-Sahara was hiding behind a counter, refusing to be apart of such nonsense, and eating the chocolate.

SAKURA1234 was trying (in vain) to steal some of the chocolate and was also dumping flour and salt in peoples hair.

They all looked somewhat like ghosts now. Tarto (if he ever returned) would surly be traumatized for life by this scene.

And the snowman? Ah, yes the snowman...has dissapered. Perhaps it was with Gabrielle.

"WE'RE BACK!" KisshuFanGirl and SassyDragon shouted proudly, still draging Pai.

Tarto took one look at the kithcen, let out a rather girly scream and ran off screen.

At that moment Bowleena (acompanied by various rabid salt 'n' vinegar chips and Satoshi plushies) fell from the ceiling.

"I'M HERE Q! YOU CAN START THE CHAPTER-" She stoped and binked, taking in the odd scene in front of her.

"You- you- YOU STARTED WITHOUT ME!" She bawled. "Houw could Youuuuuu?"

Tarto (who had magically apeared again) opened his mouth to say something

"Don't say it!" Kish shouted

"But-"

"No!"

"I-"

"NO!"

Tarto glared at Kish. As soon as Kish's back was turned he muttered 'easily'

"You started without meeee!" Bowleena was now shaking Q by the shoulders much in the same fashion as Q had with Kish earlier.

"You were with us in spirt!" Kish added cheerfully from behind the two odd people.

Bowleena released Q. "Well, ok then!"

"So..." Kish said to Q "Is the chapter over now? We didn't really cook anything. Just threw food."

Bowleena shrugged. "Close enough."

"I didn't really lear to cook you know."

"Do you really want to?"

"...No..."

And then Gabrielle threw the neon green cookbook of DOOM at Kish's head and everything faded to black.

Kish sat up in bed.

"Well, that was an odd dream." He mumbled, wondering why the back of his head hurt so much.

He walk into the kitchen. It was a disaster area; flour and salt was all over the floor. Vanilla extract was splashed on the walls, leving ugly stains everywhere. Eggs well on the celling and the shells were laying broken on the floor. Chocolate dribblets lay behind a counter. There were what looked like footprints on the counters.

In the midst of it all lay an bright green book, labeled 'The Neon Green Cookbook of DOOM'

Kish shuddered at the name, it sounded familiar.

He picked it up and a note fell out.

_Dear Kish, _

_I thought you'd like something after all your troubles in the kitchen._

_Have fun cleaning!_

_from,_

_Q and her army of rabid chips_

_Bowleena and her plushies_

_Gabrielle and her new best friend/obsession the un-named snowman_

_The wonderful reveiwers __KisshuFanGirl, Mew-Sahara, and SAKURA1234, __SassyDragon and Lula-san_

Kish stared at the book for a moment.

A slightly crusty egg fell from the ceiling and hit Kish on the head.

"Oh for the love of GLARX!"

THE END

A/N (again)

I appologise for the crappyness, the weirdness, and any other ness-es you can think of. This was rushed and I had next to no time to correct it. Sorry.

Thank you to everyone that reveiwed. I worship you forever and ever.

In the end I somehow re-read all my reveiws I got for this story. That's what inspired me. Thanks for all the support!

I'm going to be taking a break, and probaly will disapear off of fanfic dot net. I have school and a life (GASP!) so that needs to be dealt with (stupid reality) I'll try and come back soon!

-Fnick AKA Q AKA authoress


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